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Some parenting tips, from experience

Spread the freedom!

You often see parents struggling with unruly children around you. With advanced childhood you wonder if some of them were raised at all.

1 Be as consistent as possible. No is no and not after 3 times yes. But first consider why it has to be no, otherwise it will be an awkward battle.
2 As parents, always agree, draw 1 line.
3 If one person does not agree with a measure, only discuss this afterwards when the child is elsewhere.
4 If a parent was wrong (see 4), that parent must also correct it to the child.
5 Don't make a questioning commandment too often. What rhymes with 'Will you come with me?' > created a problem.
6 If someone else comes up with a complaint (teacher, neighbour) do not enter into a discussion in front of the child. Let it rest for a while, you are also less excited than discuss it quietly.
7 Don't assume (see 7) that your child won't make mistakes, or can be clingy.
8 Set rules, you really don't have to consult with your child and enforce them. Kids are great at stretching rules. Sometimes not wanting to see everything can't hurt!
9 Do not assume only punishment for bad behavior. Rewarding good behavior actually works better.
10 Teach your child to deal with delayed attention and accept disappointment. If the parent(s) is/are busy with something or someone, the child is not the focus for a while. It is best to enjoy yourself (as is often the case!) or ask a question a little later. If that's disappointing, it's good. After all, anyone who has learned to deal with disappointments has an easier time later on.

There is nothing wrong with a supplemented proverb:
'Strict but fair, strict and yet nice!'
Parenting doesn't have to be difficult, but be aware: the TV or a cell phone is not an educator!

As far as the rules are concerned: they are laid down by the parents without further involvement. Examples could be: Respect for all living things (animals, including people and plants) making the my/thine difference understandable and applying it. You or you against adults or just you against the elderly. Speak with two words. Brush your teeth twice a day. Eat at the table or on your lap. etc., etc.
It is possible, however, to consult with parents of friends, to get on the same page, later with parents of classmates. Could be a themed evening as a parent evening. Things like pocket money (when to start and how much), bedtime and which TV shows do/don't could be items.
Agreements with children can very well be made in consultation, so that children also have their own responsibility and can be addressed if they do not comply with them. Appointments can be adjusted after an evaluation. Appointments such as tidying up the room, helping to take care of the pet, helping with clearing up after dinner, etc.

Rients Hofstra


Spread the freedom!

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