Thoughts of a Sheepdog —Part 2
Dear readers of this excellent platform,
It has been a while since I last exchanged my thoughts with you. Let me say I missed our humble tête-à-tête. The last few weeks the weather has become even colder than it was during the “summer”, and I have mostly had to lie inside except for a few sunny days. Because of all this staying indoors I have hardly been able to have contact with my feathered friends in the garden and I have not seen Mr. Hedgehog in ages. It is especially hard for me to miss Mr. Egel, as I still intended to wish him a pleasant winter sleep. And what do you think? I have not yet lifted my paws and my garden has already been infiltrated by such a nasty red rotten cat! This nail in my coffin is a spry young red tom with an overly curious and enterprising nature. For example, I have had to see several times how this infiltrator climbed down the fence to run amok in my garden. You can imagine that I am of the devil, while I am here lonely behind the kitchen window forced to watch the annexation of my territory, that redhead is just staring at me with that defiant head of his. To make matters worse, he is already on my walking route and I was recently attacked out of nowhere from under a tree by this cheeky flail! And don't think that my roommate did anything about my general malaise. No defense, assistance, consolation, or anything of the sort, nay, none of this! The only thing my roommate could say was that I should just adapt and not challenge the cat but make sure that we become friends. They call it integration. Well I know that so-called integration of the magpies and crows here, which does not immediately testify to a repeatable success. Help with integration, how does she come up with it? I think my roommate has also become QRank insane which seems to be prevalent at the moment and seems to be a new variant of insanity. Watch out! I suspect that people can get infected with it the moment they get an injection. And if my roommate indeed suffers from insanity then it is also contagious because I know that she has not taken any injections. Either way, I'm deeply offended by her and I feel very lonely.
That said, I come straight to my next topic. Did you know that loneliness doesn't just affect dogs? Until recently, I was under the assumption that it was, but since September 19, I have been able to establish that people can indeed suffer from this annoying condition. I call loneliness in this context a condition because I think it is caused to people! And again, this loneliness pandemic seems to be related to Cojona or covid2 or the cross-cov XNUMX virus. Maybe it's a side effect of the injections that you hear so much about or maybe it's a side effect of that strange pass that people keep talking about. What is it called again, qr card or pass paper or something like that? You probably know what I mean. The direct cause of loneliness isn't that important either, it's the symptoms that make it all so annoying and it seems like no one can be immune to it. And the worst thing I think is that there is actually no medicine on the market in the form of a tablet or a shot for this serious condition. When one has become infected with loneliness, there is no white coat that seems to offer a solution. Worrying situation if you ask me and I see it more and more around me as I said not only in dogs but more and more in people. My roommate says that the number of infections will only increase in the coming months, with the peak of the dark days before Christmas. Personally, I'm afraid she's right and in fact, I'm afraid she's already showing mild symptoms herself. Because I said and said nothing between you and me, I recently saw her looking at old pictures of former parties and dinners and such. Between quotes, which also included a beautiful portrait of myself in the pub. However, when I wanted to watch too, she quickly put all the pictures away and looked at me in a very strange way. She was visibly hit by something and gave me a pat on the head after which she sat on the couch and sat there for hours in complete silence. Strange right? Sometimes I do worry.
What worries me even more are the latest blackmail tools that have been used against me in recent days. You read that right, this poor old dog is being blackmailed! Allow me to explain the story. Recently my roommate was busy with her bookkeeping and concluded that my dog food had become enormously more expensive and she talked about a number of other price increases. Well, my roommate is never very happy when she is busy with these kinds of things, but this time she was very toxic. In all fairness I must say that this may have had less to do with the fact that I was a bit rowdy that day and did not immediately respond to her calls when we were out for a walk. Anyway, all in all I got the threat thrown at me that if I didn't become a bit more reasonable in the future, I could apply for a job at the GGD! Then you pay your own chunks in the future! You read it right again, the GGD! As it happens, my roommate had read in the newspaper shortly before this incident that the GGD now even used dogs in those scary injection vans of theirs. The dogs that then work in the injection box for the GGD have a very special function. The intention is that they offer comfort to all people who are afraid of the injection, so that people with a fear of injection can still get the injection. The theory behind this is that petting animals and in this case dogs has a calming effect. In fact, only the presence of a dog can provide peace and comfort to the extent that the desired pricked result is quickly achieved. Now I see a core of logic in that theory in itself, because dogs are simply fantastic creatures in every respect. Still, I don't want to think about having to work myself, and certainly not for those scary white coats that I don't trust in advance. Those white coats with their needles are like vets and I don't need to explain to you what I think about such people. Aside from my natural aversion to stinging people, I'd rather be lazy than tired in my old age and have the slightest intention of pursuing a career in any form. In the future I will therefore make sure that I do not go over the target again to prevent further threats.
Finally, a happier message, did you know that this month started with perhaps the most important day of the year? Last Monday, October XNUMX, was Animal Day! I always receive a small gift on this day, so you understand that I was looking forward to this extremely important tradition again this year. This year I got a megabone that I have already finished but enjoyed. Incidentally, the fourth is not the only special day of October. Today is apparently also important because did you know that October XNUMX is the day of the wolf? Personally I had never heard of this and I really have no idea what this means exactly. What I do know is that my roommate likes wolves and I'm afraid that now that the sun is shining she's going to want to go into the woods with me to personally congratulate the wolves on their special day. Don't get me wrong, I too have nothing but awe for my ancestors, but I also believe that it is best to leave them alone. That's why I don't think it's a good idea to congratulate them personally, soon there will be a scuffle for whatever reason because they don't like the included treat, for example. Guess who should intervene again, and I can tell you that I am quite a feisty old boss, but that in a pack of vital wolves I still have to recognize my superiors. Fortunately, I now hear the postman flapping the letterbox and hurray I'm saved! The latest edition of the Other newspaper has been delivered and that means that my roommate will be busy with nothing more than reading the Other newspaper today and I don't have to go to the woods to celebrate wolf day!
Well, dear friends, I will conclude with this so that I can soon present the newspaper to my roommate and finally I would like to thank you very much for your attention. It was my pleasure again and I hope to see you again soon.
Mess the Dog
Read Part I here: