I just got a call from someone very dear to me. Of course I am always very happy to talk to her and I always enjoy listening to her adventures. The lady in question is a very enterprising spry 70+. A woman of the world who has traveled a lot all her life, always adventurous and, despite considerable setbacks in health, always recovers quickly. A beautiful woman to see and an extremely intelligent woman from whom I have learned a lot and still hope to learn. For example, she and I are both in the antique world and when she's not cycling to Paris to browse a fair, I always like to exchange thoughts with her for hours while enjoying a snack and a drink. You notice it already, I really like her.
That is why, if you allow me, I would like to vent my heart to you. The reason for the telephone conversation was not only the mention of her arrival. No, she asked me something else, which I find at most an uncomfortable question, but nothing more than that. I was asked what I would like for my birthday. Well, I'm not really into birthdays and in recent years certainly not anymore, so I don't know how to respond to such a question. So in all sincerity I answered only a little tritely that her arrival was more than enough. That's how I see it because since the whole corona idiocy I've only seen her once before last summer. I myself have been in isolation since the whole corona idiocy and don't use public transport. for reasons most of you will recognize. Naturally, she was not satisfied with that and decided to come up with something herself. Anyway, she's coming next week and I'm really looking forward to it.
What is the problem then, I almost hear you thinking, well here it comes. I hadn't put the phone on yet or I already felt wet. Literally wet, a tear streamed down my face. I myself was quite shocked by this, because I should have no reason at all for these kinds of emotional states. Unfortunately I did because that tear was a sign of my insincerity. The tear guaranteed everything I wanted to say with my big mouth but didn't say. This expression of emotion confronted me with my own failure and I can tell you it hurts. Because I know very well where my failure lies, because I should have been honest. When I replied, I should have said gifts are a big deal to me if I know I'm going to have to tread on my gums. I should have said I dread seeing her run after the incompetent lunatics of the media with all her intelligence and life experience. That the conversations that will be held should actually be about the incompetence of policymakers and its questionable motives. The greatest gift from her to me would be to awaken her intellectual brain! Wake up from the imposed fear hypnosis so that she can use all her accumulated knowledge for good things, make the world a bit more beautiful with her beautiful stories without the clouding of a mist of shudder. That she would be safe from the mass hysteria and would rise above it on the pedestal where I was only too happy to place her. And finally that I wouldn't feel so damn alone. That would be a present.....
Thank you, dear readers, for letting me breathe.